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31st March 1987

Tuesday

Got some news today, it’s sort of good, sort of bad. Me, Kati, Anj and Mackie were down the car park and Anj and Mackie went off for their chat about whether they go out together or not. When they came back, Anj told me, Mackie had said that Stephen would go back out with me, if Caroline S didn’t want to go out with him. Caz already knew this and she wouldn’t say if she fancied him or not. If it turns out she does, me and Kati and Amelia are going to have a competition for how many lads we can get off with. Kati’ll win.

I don’t know whether to get off with Stephen again – as he may just drop me again. I could really use him as much as he’s planning to use me – by getting off with him, then pretending – or being – to be casual about it – and letting him do all the running – and if he wants to then that’s fine, but if he doesn’t, I haven’t really lost anything.

I don’t know. Mackie’s going to tell him I still fancy him, and I don’t know if that’ll change anything, but there’s still the sort of foursome between Cathy, Scott P, Stephen and Caz, which would be very convenient, especially if Anj is only going to see Mackie occasionally. I suppose I’ll just have to wait and see what happens, if anything.

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Posted by on September 29, 2011 in March 1987

 

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29th March 1987

Sunday

I woke at 11.20 this morning, thinking it was 11.20. but no! Stupid old me had forgotten about the clocks moving around! So it was really 12.20. No sooner was I dressed than it was lunchtime!

After lunch I did my homework then went to visit John at the Nature Centre. I hardly know him but he’s very easy to talk to and we had a real laugh and a good time. He is very nice. He showed me round the Nature centre and all the animals who had escaped or died, I really stopped him from working!

I don’t care about Stephen any more – I’m just going to ignore him, except for when I have to ask for my bracelet back. I don’t think I do fancy Duncan – he’s just a good friend – which he is.

I’ve got lots of friends now, I mean this weekend has been an ace weekend, one of the best for ages – and all because of my friends. It has been a shit 2 days romantically, but I’d rather have lots of friends who I can be natural with, than just 1 person who I have to try and impress. Yes, I would like a boyfriend – but I’ve decided I’m going to wait for someone I like to like me and then see what happens. I don’t want to be let down again after Stephen.

 
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Posted by on September 29, 2011 in March 1987

 

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23rd March 1987

“And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you give” Lennon

Monday

I am in an incredibly ace mood. Despite my casual mention to Steven about where me and Kati go – him and Ollie actually turned up – I was quite surprised. It shows that Steven must fancy me – that sounds immodest – but you’re supposed to write anything in a diary! He’s weird looking but he’s really nice – and he’s funy and thinks I’m funny – which is good. He seems a bit shy – in that he doesn’t seem to know if he should touch me or what (he didn’t), but once he gets goinbg – he gets going!!!

It’s different fancying someone and sort of going out with them, cos when you’re fancying them you have all the fun of your fantasies – and what could happen – but on’t – but in going out it’s all for real and you can still have your fantasies, but they’re not as good!!

I’ve got a few people to say casually (I hope) to him – So you’re going out with Jessica now are you? Cos I don’t really know if we are or not – it’s a bit weird. I’m seeing him tomorrow anyway and Helen wants to come down but she’d better bloody not or I’ll kill her – me and Kati will have to give her the slip!!

 
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Posted by on September 9, 2011 in March 1987

 

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10th December 1986

Wednesday

I’ve got my lenses, they’re dead good. I had to wear them for 3 hours today – 4 hrs tomorrow, 5 Friday etc. I’ll have to put them in as soon as I come in from school. They are uncomfortable but not as bad as when I went for a trial. I’m really going to like wearing them, I feel more confident. I look really weird without my glasses, my cheeks look really fat. My hair will suit me better flat now, the top bit looks really extra. I’m not sure if I look pretty. I’m still not used to the way I look. Dan may be having a New Year Party – I hope I’ll be invited. Nat still fancies Roger, he doesn’t know. I don’t think they’ll get back together. It’s going to take me a bit of time to clean my lenses every day – but  I expecy I’ll get used to it. I’m going to phone M.

 
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Posted by on September 12, 2010 in December 1986

 

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27th November 1986

Thursday
A boring day except no one’s beign too friendly to Helen T. She’s had her hair restyled (ie exactly the same but shorter). I think Jen, Nat, Kati and Anj are going off in a four a lot, that really leaves me out. Hopefully the two Helens will break up and I’lll round with Helen C who I really like. Dean didn’t believe Nat according to Rich – I think I’m going to throw myself at him faster than Jeremy even if he goes as it’s going to be the whole night and J never goes further than love bites and at least I’ll have a good time with Dean. I’ve asked father to get me a bottle of cider so I can drink it on the train with Laura, Kate etc.

 
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Posted by on September 11, 2010 in November 1986

 

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6th April 1986

Sunday

Yesterday we went to a hypermarche. They’re dead good. Karine and Virginie were swimming but I didn’t want to go and anyway I’m on so I said I was ill of the tummy! And I went shopping with Mrs and Mr Delugre and an aunt and uncle and Stephanie. In the twon Chatte something, we met Karine and V and I went with them. It was really boring, there was nothing to do and it was freezing. Yesterday evening we went to this fashion show, sponsored by Citroen. It was really good. All the clothes were nice. There was an absolutely fucking beautiful black model – gorgeous! They had all these little kiddies in it (age 4/5) who were really sweet. Today I’m not sure what we’re doing – something to do with bikes I think. I had a bath and we’ve been and bought some bread and cakes.  I got a letter from M today. It’s really nice.

This afternoon we went into Ste Maure and met Virginie and Alexi. We sat in the cafe for ages – then David and Oliver arrived and we sat again for ages. I hated it because I only understood a little. Then we went and sat near the museum and it was bloody freezing. To get rid of me Alexi was supposed to show me the museum but as it was closed he couldn’t. After ages we finally went home. Karine is ‘going out’ with D so I feel a real gooseberry (especially with V and Olivier also!)

 
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Posted by on August 13, 2010 in April 1986

 

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25th March 1986

Tuesday

3 1/2 days!

What Jenny told me yesterday was a total lie. A big ‘joke’. How funny. I thought I was good friends with Tam. I’m not going to confide in her again. Adrian was waiting for me this morning. He says he wants his scarf back. I told him he could either pay me £4 or suffer , or borrow it from me occasionally. I think I’ll ask him to write to me in France. I wonder if he would. I fancy him! Helen and Helen and Anj all guessed I fancied him – or Tam told them.

 
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Posted by on August 13, 2010 in March 1986

 

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