I have composed a letter to send to Jon, saying I want to meet him outside the Odeon Queensway next Sunday at 2.00 and I’ll be wearing black. I’m not sure whether to send it but I think I will as at the moment I really want to get off with someone and anyone’ll do at the moment – well, anyone desperate… I’m worried though that at the last minute I’ll chicken out and then I’ll regret it. And what if I don’t like him! I want to meet him, in case he is nice, and to get off with him, but if I do that and I just use him for my ‘desires’ then he’ll want to go out with me, or he’ll say I’m really ‘loose’ etc. It wouldn’t be so bad going out with someone again, after over a yearI’m getting bored of being single, and Andy obviously doesn’t want to know, in that sense, so maybe. But from what I’ve heard about Jon he’s a real nobend and a prat. That might be better for me cos he might be wanting to discover girls and be really forward which is what I think I want at the moment. I would feel guilty about just leading him on though, and I might not even like him enough to get off with him, although the cinema especially on a Sunday is a pretty good place for that sort of thing!!!
Category Archives: February 1987
Well, back to school. Everything is pretty hunkydory except for the Helen T situation. She still doesn’t realise that Kati meant all the bitchy comments she made, and now Kati, Nat, Jen and Anj are hardly speaking to her. They’re going off in a four even more now. It’s really leaving me out as I am left with Helen and Helen and they’re quite close best friends and have all their little secrets and that. Jen has also virtually stopped speaking to Helen C who is being weird at the moment, she’s being ever so quiet and that. It’s probably cos of her mum in hospital and the operation, but I hope she’s all right. There’s a pissed lad outside now shouting his head off. I hope he bloody shuts up he’s starting to annoy me. I feel really out on a limb at the moment, as I don’t know anyone from round here and don’t really want to know them, but I’m not close enough friends with anyone at school to see them a lot out of school. I’d like to see everyone on Saturdays or whenever, but those four go off together except Nat goes out with James all the time and Helen and Helen don’t really go out on the weekend. I’ll have to work on becoming better frineds with everyone without tagging along too much which I do a bit, and I think it’s annoying. I don’t want to fall out with anyone.
I’ve just gone and stapled my thumb. It really hurts so I’m sucking it, as mummy always says. School tomorrow! I’m quite looking forward to it actually- apart from the offchance that I might see Andy – but to see everyone and get back down to work as it were. I’ve got another babysitting job for Monday and probably Tuesday and then the week after that I’ve got Tuesday and Friday for about a month. I’m really raking in the money! I’m going to put another card in the window of the newsagents in the hope I’ll get someone else. It’s a really good moneyspinner. I wrote to two Box numbers out of the Daily News – one was a 17 yr old seeking female for friendship and nights out. The other was male seeks female penfriends. I haven’t sent them yet, I plan to get some stamps after school tomorrow. We’ve hardly got any lessons – so I don’t see the point in us going in at all really, it does seem stupid. Oh well. The best thing’s games, which means… Walking through the boys’ school !!!!! WOW. It’s not all that exciting really. It only takes about 5 minutes – the worst bit’s going under their windows and they really take the piss!
My hair is going through a weird patch at the moment. It used to be fairly short on top but it’s growing out and flops all over the place. I’m trying to grow it into a short straight bob – but although the bottom sides are the right length I’m going to have to wait for the top to grow down. It’s being dead floppy. I went into town briefly today. I remembered I had to get a present for Jenny – it’s her birthday soon – so I got a Paris travel brochure – saying I was going to get you this. And the Almaz record she sings consistently, it’s a real pain. I made her a card of all these different hairstyles on the front and saying I hope those gave you ideas for hairstyles… If not… and inside there are all these pictures of bald men and it says You could always go bald! – like a man said to us at Rackhams ages ago. Anj and Kati and maybe Nat are taking her out to Pizzaland or somewhere – but me, Helen and Helen are not included. We like her just as much as them. They could at last ask us or something. I phoned Fi this morning. She said that Andy fancies Melissa the girl he travels with to school, I’ve got to see him soon and suggest the idea of a birthday party to him!!!
Today was crap and boring. I was going to go into town but I couldn’t be bothered, so I’ll go tomorrow. I’ve got to give Daddy the films to be developed so oI can have the party ones for Friday. I doubt if any of them have come out – I don’t have any great hopes. I hope I get at least one good one of Andy though. I went babysitting this afternoon. Neha really dislikes me, she cries all the time. Oh well. Prachi likes me so I’ll creep up to her. Mrs D asked if she phoned me on an evening could I come out that evening? She really takes me for granted – I’m not going to stay in just on the off-chance she’ll want me to mind the ‘girls’. I don’t even like them very much – I just like the money I get! I am knackered now and it’s 11’o clock so although this is a first time ever, I am going to not complete the page here and just go to sleep. My writing’s getting more spaced out so maybe I will fill up the page. I don’t know. Doesn’t look like it.
Thanks for your posh letter. I was going to get you one of those ‘sorry this is late (but I’m a forgetful bastard)’ cards but they were really creepy, climey and generally vile (I didn’t like them!). I think your paper’s great. DId you notice the weather outside the window in the picture? How did you guess? Are you psychic or something? I’ve just had my dinner (at 4 o’clock) I turned the telly on, saw Button Moon and realised that I’d forgotten to have dinner. I guess that’s what comes of getting up and having breakfast in the early hours of the afternoon. Yep. You guessed it. I’m not at school today.
I’ve been off since Friday with Tonsilitis (or it could be glandular fever). Today’s Tuesday (I had to look in the Radio Times to find out whether I’d had Monday or not! Must have been a memorable day!) Did you enjoy the party? I don’t know Rob F.
When we meet up, it will have to be on a Sunday cos I work on Saturday. Cinemas open on Sundays don’t they? It’d be better if we met up once at school, so that we can recognise each other. The trouble with red carnations is that there’s bound to be someone from a computer dating agency wearing one as well! I’m sure that if we both brought big bright orange flags to wave above our heads we’d know each other straight away. Are Sundays alright for you? Hope so. Any Sunday’s fine with me. Whoops no more space left. Write back soon.
PS Hope you can read my writing. No one else can.
We’ve just got back from the ‘most exclusive nightclub in town’. Complete load of crap. It’s really young, only about 2 people actually over 18. It was okay – really. I had a laugh and that. Emma is now reading this so unfortunately I I can’t write very deep meaningful thoughts as per usual of course. Duncan went and tried to get off with Anj – she got off with Matt H – silly cow, he’s a real user, just about everyone’s got off with him, silly spastic. He’s dead cool and nice, I sort of tried to get off with him but it didn’t pay off – at least we’re better friends now than we were.
Tuesday: I couldn’t be bothered to finish that yesterday I was so knackered. I had quite a good time really. Emma’s really changed. She wore a men’s double breasted navy suit (massive) and white top and had this really sharonny bag. She’s ever such a trendy now – instead of being a classy dresser that is. All the people there weren’t her kind of people i.e. black and rough. I prefer knowing where you are with people not having to act dead tough or anything.
This is written on Monday on the train back to Birmingham which is rather naughty – as I forgot to write it yesterday. We didn’t really do much yesterdat – we went out to two car boot sales, one in Bracknell and one in Wokingham, There were some lovely bovver boots for only 30p, but they were too small. I only bought a record of the Waltons theme music and a My Guy annual which is a complete load of crap – all the stories turn out well and stuff like that. In the afternoon we walked round the lake and Hils and Alice went off together thank go – they are being real prats. I went out for a fag later and that was about all that happened. I phoned Emma to try and make the arrangements for tomorrow night. She was out for ages and then she’d gone out and she’s phoning tomorrow morning (this morning) at 11.30-12. I though the train got in at 10.46 but it’s 11.46 and if we have to take Hilary home I’ll take the bus home. I’m really looking forward to Edwards – I’ve decided if Emma suddenly finds she can’t go I’ll phone up Andy and ask him if he wants to go – just as friends of course. I doubt if he’ll want to go, but if she can’t go – she’d better be able to – I’ve not seen her for ages and ages and ages.