I have composed a letter to send to Jon, saying I want to meet him outside the Odeon Queensway next Sunday at 2.00 and I’ll be wearing black. I’m not sure whether to send it but I think I will as at the moment I really want to get off with someone and anyone’ll do at the moment – well, anyone desperate… I’m worried though that at the last minute I’ll chicken out and then I’ll regret it. And what if I don’t like him! I want to meet him, in case he is nice, and to get off with him, but if I do that and I just use him for my ‘desires’ then he’ll want to go out with me, or he’ll say I’m really ‘loose’ etc. It wouldn’t be so bad going out with someone again, after over a yearI’m getting bored of being single, and Andy obviously doesn’t want to know, in that sense, so maybe. But from what I’ve heard about Jon he’s a real nobend and a prat. That might be better for me cos he might be wanting to discover girls and be really forward which is what I think I want at the moment. I would feel guilty about just leading him on though, and I might not even like him enough to get off with him, although the cinema especially on a Sunday is a pretty good place for that sort of thing!!!
28th February 1987